They say men once ruled the world—until women discovered the power of a raised eyebrow. The joke may sound exaggerated, but ask any married man or full-grown son, and you will see tears forming in his eyes… silent, salty tears of experience. Modern man may lift weights, drive SUVs, and run boardrooms, but when it comes to the real forces in his life—his wife, mother, and female boss—he is about as powerful as a chocolate bar in summer: appealing but rapidly melting.
Let’s begin at home—the land of the wife. Before marriage, the man believes he’ll be the king of his castle. After marriage, he realizes he is a servant of the queen. He learns quickly that “yes dear” is the most useful phrase in any language. Even if he thinks he is right, he knows better than to say it out loud. He has mastered the art of apologizing before he even knows what the problem is. One of the most terrifying sentences a man can hear is, “You remember what today is, right?” If he guesses wrong—game over. If he guesses right—she’ll say, “Let’s see if you actually remembered.”
A particularly tragicomic situation is when she wakes up angry and says, “I had a dream you married someone else.” The poor man, half-asleep, rubs his eyes and mumbles, “But I didn’t.” To which she replies, “Still, how dare you!” And that, dear reader, is when he knows his day is already doomed. He rushes to make breakfast, buy flowers, and cancel his cricket match, all to recover from a fictional sin committed in a dream. It is not logic that rules this land, but love… the kind of love that demands groceries, compliments, and instant remorse.
But if the wife is the queen of emotions, the mother is the grand duchess of guilt. You can be a 40-year-old man with back pain, but to your mother, you’re still the baby who once choked on a grape. Mothers operate like highly advanced emotional strategists. You didn’t call her yesterday? Prepare for this line: “It’s okay. I’m just an old woman sitting here… alone… forgotten…” One phone call is never enough; she wants full emotional presence. A fruit basket might earn partial forgiveness, but if you forget Mother’s Day, you’re officially in her bad books until Eid.
Mothers never argue directly. They let their guilt simmer like slow-cooked biryani. “You don’t eat my food anymore,” she says, watching you devour four rotis. “You’re too busy for your mother,” she whispers, while already packing containers for your next visit. The helpless man nods, wipes imaginary tears, and promises to call every night—while hiding in the bathroom to get Wi-Fi privacy.
Just when he thinks he’s escaping the emotional war at home, he walks into his office, ruled by a female boss—an MBA gold medalist with zero tolerance for excuses. His shoulders straighten, his tie tightens, but his soul trembles. She doesn’t shout—oh no, that would be too simple. She uses the polite but piercing tone of corporate annihilation.
“You submitted the report late,” she says, scrolling slowly through her tablet.
“Yes ma’am, I had to attend my cousin’s…”
“Oh, maybe I should hire your cousin then.”
One sarcastic smile from her is enough to erase all his weekend plans. The helpless man becomes a PowerPoint warrior, editing slides he knows no one will read. He sits in long Zoom meetings, nodding respectfully while wondering if it’s too late to switch careers and become a carpenter. But he dares not complain, because his boss once gave him a performance rating that still haunts him.
And just when he thinks he’s safe, his daughter—his precious little angel—sweetly says, “Abbaaa, I need a new phone.” Before he can blink, his wallet is empty and his daughter is TikToking about her “best dad ever.” He smiles, helpless again, defeated by love.
Despite all this, the man survives. He has evolved from hunter-gatherer to silent sufferer. He avoids confrontation, perfects the art of selective hearing, and learns the importance of saying “okay” with a convincing face. His helplessness is not cowardice—it is diplomacy. He’s not losing battles; he’s choosing peace.
This man deserves respect.